I Tried Every Chain Breakfast Restaurant in America
I Tried Every Chain Breakfast Restaurant in America, I never eat breakfast, but every Saturday, my friends blow up my phone, begging me to join them in absurdly long lines for pancakes. Not my thing. Still, people swear breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so I decided to put that claim to the test. I embarked on a mission to eat at every major breakfast chain in America, starting at 7 AM, to determine which ones are truly worth waking up for. I judged each spot on three criteria: food quality, coffee, and whether their slogan holds up. Here’s how it went down.
Stop 1: Denny’s – “America’s Diner”
First up was Denny’s, the self-proclaimed “America’s Diner,” operating since 1953 and often dubbed the oldest breakfast chain. I’d heard mixed reviews—mostly negative—so I was skeptical but curious. Walking in, I was surprised by the crowd; maybe Denny’s hate is overblown? Their menu only offered one coffee option, which was a letdown. The coffee tasted flat, like it had been sitting out too long. Not a great start.
For food, I ordered the All-American Slam to test their “America’s Diner” slogan—a plate loaded with cheesy eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and toast. It looked like a classic TV breakfast, so the slogan checked out visually. But the taste? Disappointing. The sausages had a weird, sour aftertaste, the eggs were just okay (better than a Circus Circus buffet, but that’s a low bar), the hash browns were mushy, and the bacon and toast were forgettable. I left wishing I’d stayed in bed, hoping I wouldn’t get food poisoning from those sausages. Worth waking up for? Hard no.
Stop 2: IHOP – “Come Hungry, Leave Happy”
Next, I hit IHOP, the pancake giant with over 1,800 locations. Their slogan, “Come Hungry, Leave Happy,” fit my mood—I barely ate at Denny’s and was ready for something better. The place was packed, busier than Denny’s, and the menu was overwhelming with options. A review I found complained about wrong orders (pancakes swapped for crepes, unsolicited bacon), which made me wary, but I was intrigued by their French vanilla creamy cold foam cold brew. Sadly, it was a step up from Denny’s but still lackluster for cold brew.
I ordered the Snickerdoodle Pancake of the Month, hoping for no crepe mix-up. After a long wait—surprising for a Thursday morning—the pancakes arrived, no bacon in sight. They looked incredible, dripping with sweetness, but were so sugary I felt a dentist visit looming. They were basically dessert, not breakfast, and I regretted not ordering bacon to balance the sweetness. Despite the tasty pancakes, the long wait and sugar overload left me ready for a nap by 10:30 AM. IHOP lived up to its slogan—I left happy, mostly because it outshone Denny’s—but was it worth waking up early? Nope, not quite.
Stop 3: Black Bear Diner – “Feed Your Inner Bear”
By now, it was freezing in Texas—Antarctica-level cold—so I was thrilled to step into Black Bear Diner, a chain with 156 locations and a 4.2-star Google rating. Their slogan, “Feed Your Inner Bear,” suggested massive portions, and the bear-themed decor was next-level adorable: bear photos, benches, murals, and a menu styled like a newspaper called the Black Bear Gazette. I ordered a cold brew to compare with IHOP’s and was blown away—it was the first decent coffee of the day.
I went for “The Grizz,” a massive plate of hash browns, eggs, bacon, ham, sausages, pancakes, and a bear claw pastry, all for $16. The portion was indeed bear-sized, and the food came out fast. The eggs were perfectly cooked, the sausages (unlike Denny’s) were flavorful with no sourness, and everything else was delicious. The pancakes were fluffy, not overly sweet, and possibly the best I’ve ever had. The bear claw, a blackberry-filled Danish, was a sweet bonus. Even the plate had bear paw details—talk about attention to detail. The slogan delivered, and I’d actually wake up early for this place. Black Bear Diner was a clear winner so far.
Stop 4: Snooze A.M. Eatery – “Breakfast, But Different”
Next, I dragged my girlfriend, Carrie, who hates mornings even more than I do, to Snooze A.M. Eatery. Their slogan, “Breakfast, But Different,” was intriguing but vague. The vibe was unique—funky furniture, cool lights, and a full bar. The menu featured wild options like breakfast fried rice and a holiday special, Nana’s Hot Cocoa Pancakes. Their coffee menu was cafe-level, so I got a honey oat milk latte, and Carrie got a matcha. My latte was decent, better than IHOP and Denny’s, but Carrie’s matcha was a letdown—good foam, bad liquid.
Carrie ordered breakfast tacos, which she loved, especially with hot sauce. I got the fried rice and the hot cocoa pancakes, which came with a toasted marshmallow, powdered sugar, pop rocks, and a cup of hot cocoa to pour over them. The presentation was wild, but the marshmallow tasted oddly like bad tofu, ruining the pancakes. The fried rice, though, was surprisingly great for an American breakfast spot. The food was a mixed bag—tacos and rice were hits, but the pancakes were an “abomination,” as Carrie put it. The slogan fit with their unique offerings, but the pancakes tanked the experience. Worth waking up for? No, thanks to those pancakes.
Stop 5: The Original Pancake House – “Pancakes As You Like Them”
With high hopes, I visited The Original Pancake House, a James Beard Award winner, expecting top-tier pancakes to rival Black Bear’s. Their slogan, “Pancakes As You Like Them,” suggested customization. The coffee options were limited, but their regular coffee was the best I’d had all day—rich and satisfying. I was confused by their 1953 founding date, matching Denny’s claim as the “oldest” breakfast chain, but I let it slide.
I ordered a Dutch Baby, a specialty pancake, and chocolate chip pancakes with extra chocolate chips to test the slogan. Both arrived quickly, and the chocolate chip pancakes were perfectly balanced—not too sweet, with plenty of extra chips, proving the slogan true. The Dutch Baby was unlike any pancake I’d seen: flaky, crispy edges with an eggy center, prepared with butter, lemon juice, and maple syrup. It tasted like a crepe-pancake hybrid, and while I wasn’t sure about the eggy flavor at first, it grew on me. I left stuffed, impressed, and convinced this place was worth waking up for.
Stop 6: Cracker Barrel – “Come for the Food, Stay for the Experience”
Cracker Barrel, beloved by my girlfriend and, apparently, the elderly, was next. Known for long waits, I wasn’t shocked by the 45-minute-to-an-hour delay, even on a weekday. Their massive gift shop, filled with candles, gadgets, baby clothes, and a cow-shaped mug (which I bought for Carrie), lived up to their slogan, “Come for the Food, Stay for the Experience.” The restaurant itself was cozy, with a real fireplace, but the menu was so huge it probably slowed things down.
I ordered Grandpa’s Country Fried Breakfast with chicken fried steak, eggs, hash browns, and biscuits, plus coffee. The coffee was as bad as Denny’s—sorry, Cracker Barrel fans. The food took forever but looked promising. The eggs had a runny yolk, and the country fried steak was crispy and flavorful, even under gravy. I was happy with the meal, and Carrie loved her cow mug, which swayed me to like Cracker Barrel overall. The slogan held up with the gift shop experience, but the wait and coffee dragged it down. Worth waking up for? Not really, but it was solid.
Stop 7: Waffle House – “Good Food Fast”
Last stop: Waffle House, the late-night legend with over 2,000 locations and a reputation for chaos (drunk fights, anyone?). Their slogan, “Good Food Fast,” set clear expectations. The menu was refreshingly simple, and the place was empty—no fistfights today. I ordered the All-Star Special (hash browns, toast, bacon, fried egg, and a waffle) and black coffee, timing the service to test the slogan.
The coffee arrived in two minutes and was better than Denny’s—low bar, but a win. The food came in five minutes, making the slogan spot-on. The hash browns were the first crispy ones I’d had, the bacon was perfect, and the fried egg was the best of the trip. The waffle, though, was just okay—not the star I’d hoped for. Still, everything else was so good that I’d wake up early for Waffle House, especially for those hash browns.
Final Rankings and Verdict
After hitting seven breakfast chains, here’s the breakdown:
- Best Overall: Black Bear Diner – Amazing coffee, huge portions, and the best pancakes I’ve ever had. The bear theme and attention to detail sealed the deal. Worth waking up for.
- Runner-Up: The Original Pancake House – Stellar coffee, customizable pancakes, and a unique Dutch Baby. Another spot worth the early alarm.
- Honorable Mention: Waffle House – Fast service, crispy hash browns, and a solid egg. The waffle disappointed, but it’s still a morning contender.
- Middle of the Pack: Cracker Barrel – Good food and a fun gift shop, but long waits and bad coffee hurt its case.
- Disappointments: IHOP, Snooze, Denny’s – IHOP’s pancakes were too sweet, Snooze’s were a letdown, and Denny’s was just bad. None were worth the early wake-up.
